great dating advice

you want to use someone to get over some one else. this is the time for a one night stand. make it magical.

and then never see them again. have that night. have fun. laugh. be crazy. don’t cry. and don’t be nuts.

blink hard. feel the emptiness.  and then smile and look into the haze right in front of you. be fearless and know it means nothing because you’re absolutely incapable of anything more and that’s not what they’re here for.  if he’s an asshole, abort. if he’s just wanting to get laid and is into you right then. go for it.  it’ll be hard to distinguish. at the end of the day: he should just be respectful.

ignify:

detachment, n.

even when i detach, i care. you can be separate from a thing and still care about it. if i wanted to detach completely, i would move my body away. i would stop the conversation midsentence. i would leave the bed. instead, i hover over it for a second. i glance off in another direction. but i always glance back at you.

david levithan, the lover’s dictionary

(via mzchief)

when i think of my past lovers, guys i just had sex with and maybe enjoyed a preliminary drink or snack or meal with and it was fun and we liked each other and used each other for company and mostly sex, i feel so much affection.  because at the end of the day, some thing kept us from being together and whatever that was, or wasn’t, didn’t make us resent each other.

when i think of my past boyfriends, i have less of a desire to interact with them though i may vaguely wonder how they’re doing.  often, unfortunately, the good times are overshadowed by the reason why i didn’t love them anymore or why it didn’t work.  

i can see an old lover and even if i don’t want to sleep with them anymore, it’s still kind of pleasant, because they never pissed about it.  there’s no ownership

exes, it’s personal.

i guess i miss the intimacy of being in a relationship, but you have it with lovers as well. there’s just no illusion, thus less disappointment.

i guess the trick is finding a lover that has no barriers.  

but really, i think having great sex is about appreciating the person, not necessarily loving them.

fireworks are great, but stars are nice too. and vice versa.  in delirium, you can interchange the two and not worry about which is what.  just enjoy it.

just cheat on them. make out. fuck. whatever you’re comfortable with. no better way to bomb a bridge.  it’s the coward’s way out. but then you don’t have to tell them why you don’t love them. sometimes they need to hate you. 

if they let you stay while they have to leave, do it. if you don’t give a fuck about them and want to make a point about it. don’t.  they probably won’t notice. but they’ll definitely notice if you do.  

anyway, keep it classy. just make the bed.

with an old friend. when i say old, i just mean someone i’ve known. biblically.